Choosing to pick up and move can be both scary and thrilling. I think about all the times I have hit a wall of mundane or redundant experiences and thought, “I wonder if I moved somewhere else, would it be better somehow?” A change-up of sorts, a reset, meeting people who don’t know my story, to be mysterious for a little while. You can be whoever you want to be, shedding old identities and embracing new possibilities that come with a fresh start. I think the assumption or fear is that leaving your “home” and going into the unknown will prove too much. Leaving friends, your favorite restaurant, your job, and your relationship will be a risk that many hesitate to take. But I think most of the time, the risk is worth it in the long run. What I have learned is that leap of faith seeps into other areas of my life, often leading to personal growth that can be both surprising and rewarding.

For instance, I bought a vinyl table a year ago; it sat in a box because I didn’t think I could put it together, an act that seemed overwhelming at the time. When I moved into my apartment and tried to set up my internet, I learned there wasn’t any wiring in place for that, a small hurdle that was too much for me, and I cried for 20 minutes. When I walked to the bus for the first time, I tried to swipe my card where you put the dollar bills, and the bus driver stared at me in disbelief. Now, in my previous life chapter(s), I would have blamed someone else or internalized my inadequacies, but I think in that moment, I realized this really isn’t the worst you’ve had it: losing a parent, saying goodbye to a pet, working 70-hour weeks with no sleep, enduring a long toxic relationship. Once you have conquered things on your own and come out on the other side, it can be freeing, no matter where you live, as you begin to understand the strength within you.

Once I realized that, I tried the big scary tasks that had once felt daunting. I got out my toolbox and put together the vinyl table, gratifying as I circled it over and over, beaming. I asked around for a plug-in internet modem that I could get delivered, seeking help from my new neighbors, which fostered connections in my new environment. I kept walking to the bus, and it got easier to figure out all the steps and stops, a small victory each time I successfully made my journey. We forget just how resourceful we are when we take a deep breath and acknowledge what we have done leading up to this point. For me recently, home was taking myself out on a particularly emotional day instead of staying in bed to ruminate. I spritzed myself with my favorite perfume, put on my beret, and went to search for a mortadella sandwich because for me that is very European and makes me feel warm, like home. I found a bottle of sparkling red wine while listening to the Before Sunrise soundtrack, which by the way is a must-see movie trilogy if you haven’t watched it. The sun was beaming directly on me at one point and I stopped to let it soak me up. Home is where YOU put down roots, wherever that may be, in whatever city or space that looks like. As Penny Lane from Almost Famous once said to William Miller, who muttered, “I have to go home,” and she replied, “You are home,” on a bus to another destination. It is not simply a physical space; it is defined by the memories created and the moments of solitude that allow for reflection. Cheers, baby!

Music Cue: Black & Blue by Vicky Sometani