Now, the art of saying no has reappeared in my life in the form of saying no to anyone or anything that isn’t supporting me, uplifting me, and showing up for me in the way I do for them. I match energy. A guy I was dating hit me with this gem: “That’s your problem; you have expectations of people. The way to live your life is not to expect anything from anyone. Why haven’t you had a boyfriend yet? Are you just a sensitive person or something? [me shocked and getting weepy]”. What an absolute jerk. I think that mindset is a cop-out, frankly, and an excuse for bad behavior. Whether you have the capacity for it, gaslighting someone into not expecting your needs to be heard or met is ridiculous… and “nope” was my response. Nope to you, nope to this feeling, nope to feeling ashamed, and nope to feeling disrespected. Access revoked. Number blocked…nope. It took me years to develop this kind of stance and the gumption to vocalize a “nope.” Creating a strong sense of self takes work, and having someone unravel that is unnerving. The luxury of saying nope is that I can leave, take myself out for a girl dinner, and never see him again (there is also the art of detachment, which I will touch upon at another time…oofff). If you haven’t heard of girl dinner, I have some pictures below. The term “girl dinner” refers to snackies, small hodgepodge meals that are thrown together like small bites, a glass of wine, a bowl of popcorn, a cheese meat stick, a piece of chocolate… specifically in our era, it’s a Caesar salad and fries. So, while it was a disappointing start to the evening, I did end it with my expectations of deliciousness. We have worked too hard in and out of challenging relationships to let anyone dim our glimmer or tell us how to feel. YOU are the light, and don’t let anyone take that away. Nope. Cheers, bebes!

Music Cue: Walk Like a Motherfucker by Ghost Funk Orchestra